Is it like pulling teeth to get yourself to a networking event? Do you justify your decision by claiming you're too busy, you're not a self-promoter, or it's a waste of your time?

Maybe you can get yourself to go, but only stay 15 minutes and leave? Or maybe you're afraid to initiate the conversation, so you find a corner and wait for someone to approach you.

After close observation, Vickie Champion came to the conclusion that the way to not only take the fear out of networking events but to improve the results, lies with the 'purpose' of attending the event in the first place. The 'purpose' to get something means we put ourselves through two hours of grueling torture with very little rewards. That is, if we don't sneak out early. But, if our 'purpose' is to give, the event is fun and somehow it produces remarkable effects.

Some of the differences between the two are:

FILLING OUR NEEDS
When the 'purpose' is to get we are actually sending a message that we have been deprived of something. In most cases it's not having enough customers. In other words, the reason we are attending the networking event is to find someone to save us. Neediness tends to repel, not attract.

Indications your 'purpose' might be to get:
• You make sure everyone you meet receives one of your business cards.
• Conversations seldom focus around the other person or their business.

Instead of coming from 'What's in it for me?,' when the 'purpose' is to give, we come from 'How can I make a contribution to this networking event?' This could be accomplished by a variety of methods: showing kindness, motivating others, or it can be a simple as just liking those we meet. Caring attracts.

Indications your 'purpose' is to give:
• You find yourself asking questions and actually listening to the answers.
• During your conversation you either see a sparkle in the other person's eye or receive a compliment.

GOING ABOUT IT
We automatically struggle to 'make it happen' when our 'purpose' is to get something from the networking event. In order to get, we think it's our responsibility to take the reins, develop a plan and keep perfecting it until we get the results we expect. How we look, what we say and do makes a big difference in the outcome. That's a lot of pressure.

Indications your 'purpose' might be to get:
• During the 30 second commercials, you don't hear a word anyone else says until your turn is over.
• You find yourself either trying to convince someone or impress them in some way.

Just by the nature of it, when the 'purpose' is to give, we are more open and "allow it to happen." The fear is gone, we're relaxed, more open and ready to receive. The process of networking is easy and fun.

Indications your 'purpose' is to give:
• What others think of you is not you're concern. What's really important to you is trying to make their day a little better.
• Before you hand out your business card, you feel some sort of a connection with that person.

EMOTIONAL IMPACT
Finally, there is no way we can escape feeling a little beaten down when the 'purpose' is to get something from a networking event. Either we're worn out from the pressure of having to be "on," take rejection personally, or at times feel like we're doing something wrong. The recurring theme is that it's not good enough. No matter how much effort we have put in or what we have accomplished, we still need to improve.

Indications your 'purpose' might be to get:
• During the event, you spend almost all of your time talking to people you already know.
• You find yourself judging either the event, others, or yourself.

On the other hand, when the 'purpose' is to give, it's uplifting. We aren't stressed out, or concerned whether we did this right or that wrong. Somehow, it doesn't matter much.

This results in being confident, motivated and having a feeling it's impossible to make a mistake.

Indications your 'purpose' is to give:
• Either during the event or looking back at it, you have moments of appreciation.
• When the event is over, you feel in some small way you made a contribution.

IN CONCLUSION To escape the fear of networking events, all we have to do is change our 'purpose' for attending it. It's just that easy. When there is no fear, we have a good time, develop strong relationships, get loads of referrals, and attract quality customers. The bottom-line is, simply changing our 'purpose' produces amazing results.

Vickie Champion is a life/money coach and speaker committed to helping people listen and trust their intuition and achieve their dreams.

She has coached as many as 54 concurrent clients on a one-to-one basis and has given over 650 classes and workshops. Currently, she has six Nothing Is Impossible Program™ groups in process and is starting two more.

For more information on the Nothing Is Impossible Program™ contact her at Vickie@VickieChampion.com or call her at (602) 249-1912.